A & B

A & B
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They transcribe their long-distance love story through recorded interactions online. Read their humorous dialogue, chronicling their time apart since the borders closed.

A and B met in Belgrade, Serbia in 2019. B is from Puerto Rico, but works and lives in Berlin. Last April he took a weekend trip to Serbia where A lives. They met while clubbing at Drugstore.

After that, they had sporadic communication for some months until July. When A went on a week-long trip to Berlin, they finally met again. They went around exploring Berlin and had some drinks. They met again the next night and the next. Their chemistry was great and their relationship developed into a long-distance love story.

Since last summer, both have been flying back and forth between Belgrade and Berlin every 2 weeks or once a month to see each other. On March 13, 2020, these meetings were interrupted. B had planned a trip to Belgrade for the second week of March when Corona hit Europe. Borders were closed. They have not seen each other in person since February 24th.

They’ve shared a glance at some of their communications since then.

Whatsapp

March 13

B: Que haces, cariño? Today’s menu: banana pancakes.

Sends a picture

A: Ay Jesus! I miss them soo much. Look how yours look so beautiful, mine are like Tiryon Lanister.

B: What are you doing?

A: Done my nails, watching South Park, smoking, drinking…. Lets skypiriña.

B: I’m online.  I need to see you in your undies.

A: You are not answering.

B: It didn’t ring. Wait, let me call you…

Skype

A: I can’t see you.

B: I can see you! Can you hear me?

A: Yes. Turn on the camera.

B: It’s on.

A: I will call you again.

B: Can you see me now?

A: ??????

Is it your network or mine?

B: I don’t know, babe…

A: Wait, this shit is updating again

A: Can you see me now?

B: Si!

A: Fuck yeah. Finally.

B: Ohhhhh, I like that bra… is that a blue wig you are wearing?

A: Yes, I’m in kind of a wig-mood today.

B: Very posh!

A: How’s Berlin?

B: Berlin is weird. People seem confused with all this virus news. Not sure if it’s a good idea to fly to Belgrade today. I’m afraid they might close borders, cancel my flight, and then I’ll be stuck in Serbia. I would love to be stuck with you, but not in Serbia.

A: Imagine that! I totally get you Brashko, crazy things are happening at this moment. 

B: Thanx for understanding, baby. Let’s see what they say in the next few days.

March 15

B: Amor mia! Germany closed its borders today and my flight from Belgrade to Berlin has been canceled. My intuition was right.

A: What, really? This shit is getting really serious.

B: I wish I could be in Novi Sad right now, chilling with you and getting some massages though.

A: I don’t get it. What massage?

B: Baby, I wish we could cuddle, then go get some massages at that place close to yours.

A. Ahh yes! That massage place you love but I think it’s shit! hahahaha

March 16

A: Look, my plant is growing.

B: Nice! You should continue watering it for the next couple of days and keep it in a sunny place.

A: There is only one sunny spot in this tunnel flat of mine. Hope this little brave fighter will make it.

B: Looks good so far, not as good as your boobs though.

A: Thanks. They miss you, you little choco bitch.

B: I know. They are saying that this is gonna last till the end of May, maybe June. 

A: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Is anyone thinking about people with long-distance relationships? How are they supposed to cope with a sexless life?

B: EU borders are closed. Serbia seems to think they are at war, closing even the airport. Jesus!

A: I know, but our health care is shit. We’d be fucked if this goes out of control here.

B: I know, I read about your president. Things are not looking good there. The president is taking advantage of the crisis to get more power and is suppressing the press. 

March 20

A: Cheers.

B: Cheers!

A: You know what? We’ve been together for a while and I never saw you without your beard. I know you think you’re a hipster, but I need to meet the guy behind it at some point. What better time than now? 

B: No fucking way, not my beloved beard! This is all I have left! 🙁

A: Why not? I need to see those cheeks and chin. I’ve never seen you without your beard, man and most likely you’ll never go without it. Now is the perfect time because #staythefuckhome policy gives you an opportunity to not see anybody till the end of May. I will be bra-less while you shave. 

B: You know what? I’m going to do it just for you. So you can see my face. Then after, I’m gonna get back into cool mode for the rest of my life. But I want you with no panties. That’s my condition. 🙂

A: Deal.

March 21

A. Brashko! Skype?

B. Coming, coming. I’m here! 

A. Hola, Guapo! Take off your pants!

B. Show me your boobs! Awww, miss them so much!  Babe, I found a really cheap ticket to see you, I just have to fly to Niš, then take a bus to Bulgaria, then come back to Serbia, then take another bus to Novi Sad. 

A. I didn’t get it.

B. That I think I found a cheap flight for when the Corona thing is done. It just takes 2 days to get there but at least I can make it. 

A. Welcome to my world!

Whatsapp

April 2

B: Que haces, mi amor?
A: I’m packing a bit. I’m heading to Pancevo, to my parents’ house. I need different scenery which is not any of my furniture or couches for some days. How is your family btw?

B: Well, my parents are ok for now, but Florida seems to be a bit crazy also. They are both pretty much indoors. My sister is ok in California, but you know I’ve told you she lives in the middle of nowhere, very isolated. And the rest of my family in Puerto Rico are also ok, but worried since they can’t really trust the government there.

April 3

A: Do you know what I’m thinking?

B: No, tell me.

A: The world is ruled by psychopaths and run by idiots. And I’m horny.

B: #metoo

A: So what is our plan when this shit is over?

B: Well, I plan to kidnap you and bring you to Berlin however possible, I will smuggle you if I have to. We will spend some time here, catch up on all those lost moments we had, as well as the sex. We have a lot of sex to catch up to. After that, we do our proposed Le tour des Balkan.

A: Deal, let’s smoke to that!

B: To the bottom. How is the plant?

April 10

A Sending picture

B: Did you keep watering it like I suggested?

A: Yes sir!  Hey, I have these things in the fridge.

Sending picture. 

What should I make?

B: Aha! Well, you can make a nice broccoli mushroom spinach onion & pepper egg tortilla. Stir fry all the veggies with a lot of butter and salt. After they cook nicely, throw in… I’d say, 2 eggs, and let it cook in medium heat. 

A: Thanks babe, I would def starve in this quarantine if you wouldn’t peak in my fridge. Here’s some boobs.

B: God, I have only one wish….please open those borders soon! 

A: #metoo BORDERS BE OPENED!!!! BORDERS BE OPENED! I hope the borders can hear me.

April 14

B: Buenos dias, mi amor! I don’t know if you remember babe, but on this day a year ago we met each other.

A: You are right! Happy meet-versary Brashkooouuuu! You know I almost didn’t go to that party.

B: I know, you told me like three times already.

A: Shit, you think it’s from smoking?

B: I don’t know but I’m very happy that Seth Troxler made you come to that club in Belgrade.

A: I’m very happy that I sat next to you! You know when this shit is over we should def go to Drugstore again. Proper celebration of our meet-versary.

B: Stop making up words, dude 😛

A: I’m just developing this poor imperialistic language.

April 22

A: You know that my vacuum cleaner reached its final phase of existence? Just like humanity.

B: Do you have money to buy another one?

A: Not exactly. I owe money for car registration, need to pay my loan for four months more. I didn’t pay bills for February and I still need to buy a new pen for your cooking recipes. And five liters of white wine. 

B: Chill, let me transfer you something to keep calm your OCD.

A: Thanks Brashko! Long live Germany.

B: Show me some booty.

A: Muchos besitos para tu cuerpo.

B: Everything in its place. I really miss you.

A: Yeah, I really miss you too choco.




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