Krista & Anda

Krista & Anda
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Not only separated by distance, Krista is expecting a baby in 3 months. They’re hoping Anda can make it to the Netherlands for the birth of their son.

Krista met Anda while studying for one year in eastern Indonesia, on Sulawesi, in the city of Manado.

“A few years ago, I left my home and job to travel. While backpacking through Southeast Asia, I stumbled into an opportunity to participate in a scholarship program, learning the Indonesian language.

On weekends, I often tried to escape the hustle and bustle of the city, heading for the island of Bunaken. I found a lovely family-run guesthouse with a bungalow on the beach, which soon became my second home. Anda was the son of the family and we became close friends. Although I wasn’t looking for love, our friendship turned into romance towards the end of my study program.

I had made plans to travel but instead decided to move to my beach bungalow on Bunaken. When my visa expired, I realized I wanted to spend more time with Anda and wasn’t ready to leave yet. This was too good to let go. I flew to Kuala Lumpur to arrange a new visa and came back. A few happy months later, I found out I was pregnant. We are now expecting a baby boy together.

I flew back home to the Netherlands in January before Corona took over the world. The plan was (and still is) for Anda to meet me here, then we would move back to Indonesia with the baby.

I left Indonesia fully convinced that he would be here for our son’s birth. Now, it’s unsure if he’ll be able to make it. I haven’t completely given up hope yet, but the chances of us reuniting before the baby is born are getting smaller every day. I’m currently six months pregnant and the due date is in three months.”

Some Struggles and Fears of Being Apart in a Relationship

“Being apart, especially while pregnant, has been harder than I expected. We went from spending every day together on the island to being on opposite sides of the world. Although we do video calls every day, the physical distance isn’t easy. In the first weeks, I noticed we both struggled with feelings of uncertainty. We didn’t know how either of us would react to being apart.

What if I wouldn’t miss him? What if he found someone else or decided to move on with his life and forget about me and the baby? After two months of being apart, I feel much more secure about this. I miss Anda a lot and have no doubts as to whether I want to be with him after this is all over. I feel confident he feels the same and we’re both committed to making it through. The question is not if we’ll reunite, but when.

The situation does cast a shade over my pregnancy. I’m not exactly on a pink cloud. This is a challenging time to be pregnant anyway. On top of corona-related uncertainties, I feel sad that I can’t share parts of my pregnancy with Anda and that he might miss out on his son’s birth.

These are special moments we’ll never get back. But I try not to dwell on that and focus on the future. The most important thing is that we stay healthy and will be together (all three of us) at some point in time.”

Krista & Anda’s Long Distance Relationship Tips and Advice

“I’m thankful technology exists so we can video call every day. We usually check-in with each other a few times a day. Sometimes we have long sessions and sometimes it’s just a quick ‘hello’ or ‘goodnight.’ Some days we have a lot to talk about and other days we don’t have long conversations, but still spend what feels the same as time together.

Sometimes we even continue our activities, such as talking with friends, working, cooking, or playing silly games. It helps not to put too much pressure on it and casually hang out together. After all, in real life you don’t have serious conversations all the time either.

At the same time, the long-distance situation has taught me the importance of communicating about important issues and insecurities. At one point, when I was feeling insecure, Anda expressed his own insecurities. I then realized this wasn’t something I was going through alone: we were both struggling.

It made me see that the situation is inherently vulnerable and how we deal with that determines the outcome. It will only work out if we both keep faith in us.”

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